A few posts back, I wrote about the new book “I know How She Does It: How Successful Women Make the Most of Their Time.” In short, author Laura Vanderkamp gathers weekly time logs from 135 women who “have it all.” By Vanderkamp’s definition, that is women who make over $100,000 and have children under the age of 18. By synthesizing the data collected and interviews with participants, Vanderkamp shares helpful insights to how these successful women create balanced lives when it comes to work, home, and self. I found the book to be incredibly helpful and empowering and wanted to share some of the highlights here:
“Flexibility is less about policy than about the reality on the ground.” When I considered what my schedule as a working mother would look like, I considered working 4 days/week instead of full time. I connected with another new mom about this, and she cautioned against this. Because of the kind of work we do, we would be expected to get 5 days worth of work done and only get paid for 4 days. This was great advice that was reinforced by the tips in Vanderkamp’s book. In addition to getting paid less, it can also hurt your career trajectory.
One recommendation for adding flexibility to your work life is to work a split shift. “Rather than work… straight through, a woman might leave work at a reasonable hour during the week… at least one weeknight per week, you go back to work after the kids go to bed.”
Working remotely was another strategy. I work from home on Thursdays. Dash’s nanny is there for most of the day, but on these days, I am able to sign on around 7am and usually log off for the night around 6pm. I would not say that I am working the entire time, but this longer workday creates space for more quality time with my son during the day.
Vanderkamp also recommends rethinking business travel. When I travel, I always I do my best to add in some down time into my schedule. I spend my extra time visiting the hotel spa, and indulging in room service and bad reality TV. Of course I miss my family and hate being away from my son, but since I have to be away, I make the most of my time.
By the time Friday evening roles around, I am usually exhausted and ended up spending a good part of my weekend trying to catch my breath. Before I know it is Sunday night and the cycle continues. The book recommends thinking through weekends and weekday evenings in the same way you would your workweek. It is all about being intentional. One of the key takeaways for me was the recommendation of creating a mid-week date night. It could be opening a bottle of wine on Wednesdays after Dash goes to sleep and planning 3 activities for the weekend. They could be as simple as a family bike ride, a picnic lunch, and church on Sunday. It just helps you to be purposeful in how you spend your time.
Another tip I loved was the idea of creating a family bucket list. I don’t think she called it that in the book, but the idea is to have everyone in your family contribute to a list of 12 activities/excursions that you want to do over the course of a year. Maybe you will only get to 5 or 6 of the items of the list, but that is better than none. And, there is always next year.
The last strategy I will share is to multi-task smarter. Blend tasks you need to do with things you want to do. I want to maximize my time with my son so instead of going to the grocery store after work. I come home, relieve the nanny, and bring Dash with me. I turn a routine errand into quality time with my son and a learning opportunity- we like to practice colors and counting in the aisles. Similarly, I like to workout with friends- I can catch up with a girlfriend and get some exercise in. It is a win-win.
I really enjoyed this book and it has helped me to reframe my work-life balance. What other tips do you have for living a full life?
A Dash of This, A Dash of That 